Friday, 26 February 2010

Age Before Intelligence

Everyone likes to get respect, but you only get it if you earn it. At least, that's the way I see it. I am not talking about general respect, the kind you get initially, which has the ability to be lost forever when you open your mouth. I am talking about respect you have to earn.

Everyone's idea of respect is very different. Some people think respect is through fear, some people think respect is earned through property, but most normal sane people think respect comes from your actions. I respect my mother for raising a family and getting an education after everything that was thrown at her. I respect my foreign friends for leaving their safety zone to get a degree. I have respect for many other people, for many very different things.

But what I don't give respect for is NOT dying... Well, unless they survived a murder by using wit to confuse the murderer. I have came in to contact with people who believe they are owed respect, because they are old. Why though? Where did we adopt this notion that we have to respect people just for staying alive? I am doing that now, yet no one is shaking my hand. When I am being less than favourable, I expect someone to tell me. Apparently you can't do that, because I don't understand.

What don't I understand exactly? Apparently it's OK for them to be racist, homophobic, sexist annoyances because they are from a different time. Yeah, but they are in this time now. Everything grows with time. Everyone has to adjust, but apparently they don't and we have to just put up with it.


Why should we? Some old women stopped in the middle of the shopping centre a few months back and I couldn't stop fast enough and bumped in to her. What should have happened, was me apologising, her accepting and us going our separate ways. Instead, what happened was she turned around and started shouting and raving, making me look like I had just ran up behind her and cracked her across the back of the head. What made it worse, is onlookers (who saw the whole thing), were giving me the evil eye like they had saw some horrific atrocity. Of course, if she was 70 years younger, this wouldn't have happened.

I really do wonder what happens during the ageing process that makes not only your bowels flexible with where they unload, but also your morals and manners retire.

What also gets my goat is the argument that because they have seen more stuff than me, and worked for longer, that means they are better than me. This is generally by people who worked in an office for 60 years, or went to war, which they think is impressive to a pacifist.

I can only hope that in 50 years, I remember this blog and think, "do I really want to be like that?" But I then worry than my thought then will be, "yeah I do. I may as well since besides getting a sponge bath and having my weekly crap, it's the most fun a guy my age can have."

Hopefully someone will break my hip and put me out of other people's misery.

Monday, 5 October 2009


The Internet. Isn't it great? Whenever you wish to find information on your favourite restaurant, you can lol. Or maybe you want to the phone number of a big marketing company that could further your career way beyond your expectations lol. Maybe, you could write a heart warming final message to a dead or dying loved one lol. Whatever you wish to do on the internet, it will certainly make you laugh out loud.

For everything on the the internet is hilarious, it seems. Being a young man of this generation, I use the internet a lot. I have Facebook for keeping up to date with my friends, planning events or stalking my girlfriend. Ignore that last part. I also use message boards and, I know this may come as a bit of a shock to you, but I also use it to blog my thoughts.

But I do get continually irritated by everything being 'lol' worthy. Mundane activities such as going to the shops are generally met with a 'lol' on Facebook and instant messaging services. One of my friend's status updates once had the phrase 'lol' 6 times, in 1 run on sentence. No part of that sentence would have made me laugh out loud had she told me that in person. In fact, the most I'd have done is probably said, "Okay. Have fun." But it was on the internet, so it was simply hilarious. I almost popped a kidney.

I personally refuse to use the phrase, as there hasn't been much on the Internet said that has made me genuinely 'laugh out loud' so why lie? I put "haha" which makes me feel better. I am not being dishonest, and I feel I make the world a better place. lol.

But is this the future of language? As I mentioned before, I use message boards fairly regular, but the one I use the most is populated by people from all over the world. I made a joke once about how the Americans are making 'our' language dumber, by removing the silent letters. One American said to me that is the "evolution of language." So does that mean, that the language is going to get progressively simpler 2 th point wer we r spelin evrethin lik dis? That hurts my head just reading it in texts messages, but I can't imaging reading a book with that in.

One thing for sure, is that 'lol', 'pwned', 'omg' and others will eventually get placed in to the dictionary, alongside 'bling' and other such slang terms and become actual words. Soon we will have people saying 'lol' in public when something that is said isn't funny enough to laugh, but you don't want to offend the person saying it. But if something really IS funny, we all get to say 'lololololololololol', allowing the person to fly away smugly on their Roflcopter.

Sunday, 28 June 2009

Death of a Celebrity

So, this week, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died, and once again, I had to put up with the emotions that vomited over everyone. Not my emotions though, as I count myself as a rational person. I didn't know either of these people, or any other celebrity, so when they die, I think, "oh that's a shame" and get on with my life.

I have never really understood how people get so emotional over people they have never met or who didn't do anything to their life. OK, they may have made you happy or something from listening to their music, or watching their films or whatever, but if they hadn't done those things, your life would be no different. It's not like the soldiers that went and captured Saddam Hussein. If they hadn't caught him, then Bush would have had to find a different country to 'liberate'.

I wasn't aware of what Farrah Fawcett did. I only remember her name, because as a child, before my humour had properly developed, I thought it was funny that if she was born in Britian, she'd have been called Farrah Tap. So her name stuck with me. After reading a bit more about her, her story is much sadder than that of Michael Jackson's. She had cancer, and tried for years to find a cure, eventually succumbing to the innevitable.

Then, what happens a couple of hours after her untimely demise? Michael Jackson dies. Everyone has now forgotten about Farrah, which speaks volumes. I for one was glad that he died. His life was hardly filled with happiness.

He missed out on his childhood because of an overbearing father, which clearly mentally scarred him. He then becomes a laughing stock the world over because of his bizarre cosmetic surgery exploits. He then dangles his child over a balcony, putting the child at risk and gets labelled a bad father. He then gets accused of being a paedophile and has to go to court to prove his innocence, which he managed to do, but failed to convince everyone. Then, to top it all off, he gets cancer, has a heart attack, and dies.

How much of this do I believe? Well, your question shall be answered. The overbearing father part is obvious to everyone with half a brain, so I'll skip that part. Same with the cosmetic surgery. I do believe he is a bad father. Not out of cruelty, but out of immaturity. He was never fit to look after a child, since he had the mind of a child himself. Everyone was up in arms about that 12 year old who became a father (but was later found not to be), but because MJ looks like an adult, it's OK? He wanted a friend, not a child.

I don't believe he was a paedophile. Just a deeply disturbed individual, and that woman used that to her advantage. Personally, I find the people that let their children stay at his house are idiotic anyway. I know he is Michael Jackson, but they still allowed their children to stay the night in the home of a stranger without supervision. If he was a paedophile, they really only have themselves to blame.

He was clearly never happy. His life was full of things I wouldn't wish on my nemesis. I wouldn't be surprised if his last thoughts were, "it's about time!!"

But don't worry, these latest deaths aren't the only ones to annoy me. I am perpetually annoyed by all of them. What gets me the most, is how people seem to forget how horrible a person was when they die.

My main example for this is the ex-footballer and living person, George Best. For the record, yes, he was a great footballer. I am not denying that at all, but between retiring from football and dying, he was a horrible human being.

He became an alcoholic, and completely wiped out his liver. During the slow decline of his liver, he beat his wife and children. His liver packed in, and he had to have a transplant. Of course, because he was famous, he was bumped to the top of the organ donor list, because that's who deserves new livers, alcoholics. What did he do with this new liver? He killed that one too. But when he died, this was all forgotten and his legend will live on as an angel amongst men.

Now I am not totally uncaring, don't get me wrong. I just think there is a limit to what your emotions should be. I have had these rants before to people I know and someone always says to me "I bet you would change your mind if someone you liked died!" They are right, I would. I'd think, "oh that's a shame. [person] won't be making any more [trade]." It will definitely not make me cry, or totally ruin my day, like it does to some people.

British Weather

Well it's Summer again in Britain, I guess. It's really difficult to tell sometimes, but it hasn't been too bad this time around. It's been a long time since I can remember a decent Summer. I only vaguely remember the heat wave back in 1997. This bout of decent weather has made coming back from Spain a little easier.

So yeah, I went to Spain for 5 days with my girlfriend, and it was great. I got to wear shorts at night outside and still be warm. It was great and a little surreal. I feared the worst coming back home, especially with the bit of turbulence that occured.

But as said, it has been OK. Even over the last week, which appeared to be a bit dreary was quite warm, although a bit humid. We are apparently expecting a heat wave this week. It's going to peak at 32 degrees celsius, while also having the odd thunder storm. It'll be like being in an extremely boring version of Florida. So we plan to go to the beach at night if there is a thunder storm. If not, the walk by the beach should be fun as long as we don't get stabbed.

What always amuses me about British weather, is that it proves that us Brits are simply never happy. We moan and complain all the time about how cold and wet it is. Then we get a heat wave and suddenly it's far too hot. Make up your minds. I would rather be too hot than too cold, anyday, but I believe myself to be in the minority. I asked a few people I work with whether they would rather die from the heat or die from the cold, and they said cold, which totally confuses me.

As always when it comes to extreme weather conditions in Britian, the stories about the elderly appear in the news. I think the elderly are the quintessential Brits. If it's too cold, they give up. If it's too hot, they give up. What always amuses me when it comes to the elderly are the charity shops designed for the elderly. They take in clothes and then sell them... so they can use the money to buy clothes. I hope it's not just me seeing the idiocy involved here.

However, our weather isn't all doom and gloom. It could be worse. Other countries have far colder weather conditions than us during Winter, and then some also have tornados, earthquakes, volcanoes etc. to cope with. I'd rather wear a jacket 345 days of the year, than living in fear of a molten lava bath.

So I shall be enjoying the sunshine, even if it kills me. I will be walking around with no jacket and shorts, and if all the hair on my legs stand on end and my nipples blind people, then so be it. I like the novelty.